MUST READ: Breaking News
Announcements
Please Please Please Please Please Please
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Give us more of your money. We want more money. -
Confirm that you are going to give us money please.
AskTheRectangle
Have a question? That sucks.
#notsponsored
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Planning on committing a war crime?
Is your group chat missing a journalist to spice things up? Add our esteemed editor-in-chief, Il Duce, to your group chat and share all the classified secrets you want! We promise we won't publish them!
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Congarts. You have won twenty-five billion dollar!
Please click on this link to claim your prize from Mr beats: http://ehfiufhui.notascam.jpeg.gov
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Introducing Drexel Rush!
In a new collaboration with Rush sponsored by the uptake in usage at the frats on campus, Drexel has combined to create a new brand of poppers for the everyday college student
Health and Well-Being Resources
Depressed Like Everyone Else?
Damn that's lowkey but highkey kinda crazy. You should probably do something about that lol. Just remember, your billing statement (eBill) from Drexel University is now ready for you to view.
Whore-o-scopes
Pisces
Just checked in with the love gods and they are n o t happy with you. You have been seeing someone behind your partner’s back. Now this can be amended in one of two ways, either tell your partner, OR double down and start seeing m u l t i p l e people behind your partner’s back. Show the love gods you mean business!
Libra
Do it jiggle? Do it squirt? What do these questions have in common? They’ve both been asked by desperate frat guys and it’s this kind of rizz that is getting you no bitches! Switch up your game, have some class, be better and attract the type of person you wish to see in this world. Yes it jiggles, if by jiggles you mean shakes and by it you mean hands during a business deal. And yes it squirts if by squirts you mean it fills with money and by it you mean your bank account.
Scorpio
You need to go get some good W.A.P. today. And I'm not talking about the Megan Thee Stallion song (you pervert), I’m talking about good old fashioned Working-out And Protein drinks! Summer is fast approaching and your future beau is coming to you on a Jersey shore beach in three months and six days. So get workin!
Statement on [Insert Tragic Event]
Dear Members of the Drexel Community
On today [insert date], [insert summary of tragic event] occured. I am deeply saddened by [insert
tragic event].
Our thoughts and prayers are with the [victims | survivors | those affected]. While we can offer our thoughts
and prayers, these are simply not enough. We must additionally offer [insert token effort]