By: St. Aspie The FBI and the Philadelphia Police Department issued arrest warrants March 27 for Drexel University President Juan A. Fritto and 30 other administrators, faculty and staff members for their involvement in a multimillion-dollar University-led LSD operation. The three non-Drexel affiliates arrested Jan. 31 for running an LSD ring and the two [...]
What’s Happening in Philly
The 75th Annual Hunger Games at Drexel University Welcome, welcome! Drexel University has been chosen to host the 75th annual Hunger Games! One male and one female will be chosen at random from each major to compete in the games hosted by our very own President Fritto. The reaping will take place in the [...]
Mario statue destroys Penn campus
By: Rulia Joberts The statue of Mario the Dragon, located at the southeast corner of 33rd and Market streets, came alive at the midnight hour of April 1 and destroyed the University of Pennsylvania’s campus, causing multiple deaths. An unknown homeless woman, who appeared to be drunk, was allegedly walking in circles around the [...]
Local profs turn to hip-hop
By: Katniss Everclear What do you get when you mix rap, the literary canon and three midlife crises? Lil’ Oquy and the Lit Boys’ freshman album, “Load the Canon,” is set to drop this spring. The 100-percent grammatically correct record, written by three local English professors, might as well be considered trip hop — because [...]
New department baffles Drexel
Jazzy Rock The opening of the new $15 million “Department of Sustainable Engineering, Science and Art” has been met with great fanfare at Drexel and has been hailed as an important step in making Drexel competitive in the fast-paced world of sustainable education. Described as “an interdisciplinary effort to raise awareness about sustainable education [...]
Natural Ice offers crisp and classy taste for all
By: Rich Ewing This year’s meeting of the Giant United States Beer Festival resulted in an unprecedented outcome, something never before seen in the history of this governing body. The tasting panel has unanimously declared Natural Ice to be the best craft beer in the U.S. This award is sure to settle all disparaging claims [...]
Reid steps down, slowly
By: Jose Canseco’s Twitter Account After 13 years of being together, the Philadelphia Eagles and Andy Reid have separated. Reid has stepped down from his position as head coach of the Eagles, effective immediately. Reid, a Los Angeles native, read the Los Angeles Times report that he did not have enough player personnel control and did [...]
Beckham joins Drexel Shin Kicking
By: Pike Okeechobee In a year in which Drexel University athletics has been the talk of the City 6, Director of Athletics Erik Zimmer has made yet another splash. “I am pleased to announce that, effective at the start of this coming fall athletics schedule, Drexel athletics will be adding the popular sport of shin kicking, [...]
Drexel resurrects Biggie and Tupac
By: Lance DayDrunk In a surprise announcement that is taking the music world by storm, Drexel will be hosting the first stop of the “Resurrection” comeback tour of a reunited, and shockingly alive, Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur. The two hip-hop stars, who were previously thought to have been killed in the East Coast-West Coast [...]
The real reason Drexel didn’t get an NCAA bid
By: J. Man With the NCAA Tournament coming to a close, I was finally able to procure an interview with the head of the NCAA Selection Committee. Members of the committee are notoriously difficult to get a hold of, but after talking to Iona College head basketball coach Tim “The Complainer” Cluess, I found out [...]
Good Ol’ Fashioned PDF
THE POLL
Of the following, who is the best rapper of all time?
- Dylan (20%, 5 Votes)
- Dylan (28%, 7 Votes)
- Dylan (28%, 7 Votes)
- Dylan (8%, 2 Votes)
- Dylan (16%, 4 Votes)
Total Voters: 25
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