Ushering in a new golden age for debauchery, recent executive orders by President Trump to repeal DEI (diversity, equality and inclusion) initiatives have given new hope for hazing’s return to Drexel fraternities. The repealed initiatives offered protection against hazing for students in universities nationwide, by creating safe spaces for students to report harassment. The scrapped programs also sought to increase the inclusion of minority groups in student life. The Society for Fraternity Advancement offered its thanks to the president in a statement posted to X.com, “We thank President Trump for scrapping the red tape that unfairly hindered our organization’s ability to force recent highschool graduates to partake in activities they otherwise would not agree to. We shall celebrate this monumental day by forcing an 18 year old to take molly in the basement!”
For his part, President Trump took to Truth Social to offer his thoughts on the matter, “Our great AMERICAN fraternities are now free from the unfair restrictions put on them by Crooked Joe Biden. We must allow these young men to operate as they please, and put AMERICA first.”
It is too early to see how exactly these executive actions will affect the fraternity culture at Drexel, but experts predict a rise of degeneracy, depravity and indecency on campus. We wish all new fraternity pledges the best of luck in this new environment.