Division 1 athletes are local celebrities at school. They walk around with their parkas and embroidered backpacks and seem to be everywhere. After careful observation of all the athletes on campus, we decided to give all of the teams superlatives. This was 100% scientific and not at all based on vibes. I mean, what kind of journalist would we be if we solely relied on vibes and didn’t back up our research??
Who would you not let date your child (Not hating, just stating!)
- Women’s Softball
- Men’s Wrestling
- Women’s Lacrosse
- Men’s Soccer
- Men’s Golf
Who would you let run the school (Because let’s be real, we all wish we could have John Frye’s salary)
- Women’s basketball
- Men’s basketball
- Women’s Swimming and Diving
- Men’s Tennis
- Women’s Squash
Most athletic (The D1 athletes of D1 athletes)
- Soccer
- Swimming and Diving
- Basketball
Who would you want to be stranded on a desert island with (Just a heads up, we won’t be much help)
- Men’s Rowing
- Women’s Swimming and Diving
- Women’s Lacrosse
- Men’s Wrestling
- Women’s Field Hockey
Most likely to shatter a world record (We’re manifesting)
- Men’s Basketball
- Women’s Basketball
- Men’s Squash
- Women’s Soccer
- Men’s Golf
Most likely to become a professional athlete (The people at The Triangle tell me they need more pro athletes to write about)
- Men’s Tennis
- Men’s Basketball
- Men’s Soccer
- Women’s Swimming and Diving
- Women’s Basketball
Best dressed (Excluding the parkas)
- Men’s Soccer
- Women’s Squash
- Men’s Squash
- Men’s Rowing
- Women’s Tennis