The Rectangle

Amari Williams demands tea party following practice


Drexel veteran and three time CAA defensive player of the year, Amari Williams, made headlines last week after a hard fought practice. The 6’10” senior stormed off following the team’s routine practice followed closely by Head Coach Zach Spicher who would speak with the Rectangle following the chaos. 

“I’ve dealt with a lot of interesting player requests in my eight years but nothing like this,” Spicher stated, “there’s just no way we’re having tea parties after practice.”

It is no secret Amari Williams got his start playing British basketball before coming to the states. However, it was unknown how prideful the big man could be about his upbringing. Teammates began commenting on the issue following Williams’s placement of a Queen Elizabeth shrine in his locker. 

“It’s gotten a little out of hand,” Drexel forward Luke House reports. “I mean, I like some good fish and chips as much as the next guy, but tea after practice is too far.” From our conversation with House, it seems that Williams’ post-practice escalation stemmed from a simple offer of gatorade from guard Jamie Bergens, whose offer was rejected with the same strength Williams blocks shots. Following the incident, Williams was heard shouting, “aye bruv no crumpets no buckets,” a worrisome remark for any Drexel basketball fan. 

Following a short absence from the team, Williams and Coach Spicher were able to meet on an agreement. Now as players head to the sideline to grab some electrolytes from the gatorade cooler, Amari will be able to get a quick cup of tea from a kettle which will be conveniently placed near the bench. 

Since the adjustment, Williams has been unstoppable, averaging 20 points, 15 rebounds and five blocks per game, all with a pinky raised and a warm caffeinated beverage in his hand.