During the Feb. 28 performance of “The Vagina Monologues” at Drexel University’s Mandell Theater, local man Rick Walters began a rousing edition of The Penis Game, which he ultimately won by beating out several other members of the audience.
As the lights brightened and the curtains went down for intermission, Walters took a trip to the bathroom and saw the look of defeat on the faces of many of the male attendees. At this point, the 32-year-old Philadelphia native thought it was his responsibility to liven things up a bit in the second half of the performance.
“There was a lot of estrogen in the air,” Walters explained. “Vagina this and ovaries that; I thought I needed to bring some testosterone into the building.”
A few minutes into the second act, Walters began by whispering, “Penis …” to his girlfriend, Amanda Vernon, who had guilted him into attending the performance. With a confused and disgusted look she responded, “Penis?” loud enough for a nearby audience member to hear. That fellow patron spoke in a tone just below a regular speaking voice, “Penis.”
The game was on.
From the mezzanine: “Penis!” From the standing room seats: “Penis!” From the front row: “Penis!” From backstage: “Penis!” From the concession stand in the hallway: “Penis!”
Walters, who was sitting middle-middle in the theater, knew he had some tough competition. Still, he felt confident that his life experience playing The Penis Game had prepared him just for this moment.
“There was definitely some talent in the building, for sure,” Walters said. “But I felt that I was the favorite going in due to my preparedness and the fact that I could scream ‘Penis’ in any daily situation and not even give a shit.”
One by one, competitors dropped out of the game. Drew Carlson was dragged from of the theater by his girlfriend, screaming, “Penis!” on his way out. Meanwhile, a soft-spoken individual, Harold Thompkins, just was not able to yell loud enough to keep up with the likes of Walters.
After over 50 yells of “Penis!” from throughout the stands, only Walters and a dark horse competitor, Ian Farstrom, remained. Unbeknown to Walters, Farstrom was born and raised in Sweden, commonly known as The Penis Game capital of the world.
It was truly shaping up to be a back-and-forth Penis Game showdown for the ages.
But before Walters and Farstrom could get into a rhythm, Harriet Wilson, an actress whose monologue was being interrupted by “Penis!” after “Penis!” had enough. She jumped from the stage, made her way up the aisle and tackled Farstrom to the floor, knocking him out instantly.
Walters saw his opening and simply said, “Penis.” With no response from Farstrom, he was crowned champion of the game.
Even though he was quickly removed from the theater by security, he was proud of his accomplishment on this day. “Am I allowed back in the theater for the rest of my life? No. But I was glad I was able to spruce up the performance and take home a victory in the process,” Walters reflected.
Next up for Walters, he plans to start a cross-country tour where he will begin The Penis Game at numerous places and events. Some of these include from the top of Mount Rushmore, at the Grand Canyon and on Broadway during a matinee showing of “Wicked.”