On March 17, the University of Pennsylvania announced the creation of a new scholarship known as the “Quaker Legacy Scholarship,” which will reward students simply for being born into the right family.
The Quaker Legacy Scholarship is intended to ensure that the children of alumni, donors and anyone who has ever attended a UPenn tailgate can reap the benefits of higher education without the time-consuming burden of earning it, as well as third cousins twice removed who have ever looked at the university brochure.
Following this statement, UPenn admission statistics revealed that 99 percent of incoming and existing students were legacies, with the remaining 0.1 percent being the lucky ones who admissions accidentally let in. According to the findings, UPenn’s admissions procedure is more about who you know — or are related to — than about merit. Many students, staff and admissions officers have come out to share their stories.
In order to remain anonymous, a student named “William Williamson III,” whose major is business administration with a minor in trust fund management has stated, “I never applied, but my great-great-grandfather donated a library building in the 1880s. I received an acceptance letter and a monogrammed sweatshirt, and my essay was optional. My networking experience at this college feels like pre-gaming for the real world; doesn’t that sound smart?”
A professor named “Dr. Hiremeplease,” who teaches art history also stated: “I received my job through my step-uncle twice removed, who may be the Dean or more like we share a vacation home in the Hamptons. My qualifications? I read Art History For Dummies, but only like the first 3 chapters.”
Lastly, an admission officer by the name “Karen Rejectsalotofstudents,” shared: “We simply want the best for our remarkable and admirable students and applicants. To keep things interesting, for every legacy student admitted, we add a first-generation student. These extraordinary students have been planning for this their entire lives, beginning with UPenn onesies; it’s virtually their birthright, and all I want to do is make it a reality for them and provide them with the assistance they need.”
Opportunities have never been greater for the right individuals from the ideal family. A future in which your GPA is the least of their concerns and your last name has been printed on a building somewhere. Overachievers, whose family name and legacy are regarded full-time jobs. Students and staff who are eternally grateful for not being in crushing debt can thank nepotism.