MUST READ: Breaking News
Announcements
Please Please Please Please Please Please
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Give us more of your money. We want more money. -
Confirm that you are going to give us money please.
AskTheRectangle
Have a question? That sucks.
#notsponsored
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Planning on committing a war crime?
Is your group chat missing a journalist to spice things up? Add our esteemed editor-in-chief, Il Duce, to your group chat and share all the classified secrets you want! We promise we won't publish them!
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Congarts. You have won twenty-five billion dollar!
Please click on this link to claim your prize from Mr beats: http://ehfiufhui.notascam.jpeg.gov
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Introducing Drexel Rush!
In a new collaboration with Rush sponsored by the uptake in usage at the frats on campus, Drexel has combined to create a new brand of poppers for the everyday college student
Health and Well-Being Resources
Depressed Like Everyone Else?
Damn that's lowkey but highkey kinda crazy. You should probably do something about that lol. Just remember, your billing statement (eBill) from Drexel University is now ready for you to view.
Whore-o-scopes
Libra
Do it jiggle? Do it squirt? What do these questions have in common? They’ve both been asked by desperate frat guys and it’s this kind of rizz that is getting you no bitches! Switch up your game, have some class, be better and attract the type of person you wish to see in this world. Yes it jiggles, if by jiggles you mean shakes and by it you mean hands during a business deal. And yes it squirts if by squirts you mean it fills with money and by it you mean your bank account.
Aries
Get crazy girl, today is your day to hit the town. The world is your oyster and it’s your job to get as many pearls as possible, so put on some clean pants, spray that dollar tree perfume on you, and get some serious hoein’ done!
Gemini
Your two faces need to be on two other faces today. Happy national threesome day that you and only you celebrate! I don’t care if it’s two best friends or two total strangers! I don’t care if one gets the seat in the corner and one gets the bed! It doesn’t even matter if they’re even remotely the same height as each other OR as you! Just get it twice over and get it soon!
Statement on [Insert Tragic Event]
Dear Members of the Drexel Community
On today [insert date], [insert summary of tragic event] occured. I am deeply saddened by [insert
tragic event].
Our thoughts and prayers are with the [victims | survivors | those affected]. While we can offer our thoughts
and prayers, these are simply not enough. We must additionally offer [insert token effort]