MUST READ: Breaking News
Announcements
Please Please Please Please Please Please
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Give us more of your money. We want more money. -
Confirm that you are going to give us money please.
AskTheRectangle
Have a question? That sucks.
#notsponsored
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Planning on committing a war crime?
Is your group chat missing a journalist to spice things up? Add our esteemed editor-in-chief, Il Duce, to your group chat and share all the classified secrets you want! We promise we won't publish them!
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Congarts. You have won twenty-five billion dollar!
Please click on this link to claim your prize from Mr beats: http://ehfiufhui.notascam.jpeg.gov
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Introducing Drexel Rush!
In a new collaboration with Rush sponsored by the uptake in usage at the frats on campus, Drexel has combined to create a new brand of poppers for the everyday college student
Health and Well-Being Resources
Depressed Like Everyone Else?
Damn that's lowkey but highkey kinda crazy. You should probably do something about that lol. Just remember, your billing statement (eBill) from Drexel University is now ready for you to view.
Whore-o-scopes
Capricorn
It’s time for some sexuality switching! Go try something new, your usual routines are fun, but well worn. Take a spin with the gender wheel and unlock hidden sexualities previously unbeknownst to humanity! Get some he/him-bos added to your roster, get zir/ze-rious about being freaky, become a she/her-icane of uninhibited sexual desire! Carpe every diem you see!
Sagittarius
I’m gonna need you to lock in with me here. That person who’s been pursuing you is on their last nerve and is going to give up soon. Now you and I both know that they gave you a bed rockin’, hair pullin’, booty bouncin’ good time and you can’t let that slip you by. Lock in and lock them down (maybe literally!).
Virgo
Virg-oja Cat once said "He like the Doja and the Cat, yeah / He like it thick, he like it fat, yeah". These words of wisdom should be your guiding light today. Get out into the world and make thick stacks. Get thick with positive vibes and super thick healing energy. Make sure everyone can see your thick smile and that they’re all thick with interesting words that compel deep meaning and thick affirmative self reflection. I mean, that’s what Doja Cat meant by “he like it thick”, right?
Statement on [Insert Tragic Event]
Dear Members of the Drexel Community
On today [insert date], [insert summary of tragic event] occured. I am deeply saddened by [insert
tragic event].
Our thoughts and prayers are with the [victims | survivors | those affected]. While we can offer our thoughts
and prayers, these are simply not enough. We must additionally offer [insert token effort]