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Pickle Corner

Welcome back to The Rectangle’s Pickle Review Corner! Today we will be reviewing the “Heinz Genuine Whole Dill Pickle.” Three of our expert pickle critics will taste the pickles, break them down by category and give a closing statement. …

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Health and Well-Being Resources

Depressed Like Everyone Else?

Damn that's lowkey but highkey kinda crazy. You should probably do something about that lol. Just remember, your billing statement (eBill) from Drexel University is now ready for you to view.

Whore-o-scopes

Sagittarius

I’m gonna need you to lock in with me here. That person who’s been pursuing you is on their last nerve and is going to give up soon. Now you and I both know that they gave you a bed rockin’, hair pullin’, booty bouncin’ good time and you can’t let that slip you by. Lock in and lock them down (maybe literally!).

Scorpio

You need to go get some good W.A.P. today. And I'm not talking about the Megan Thee Stallion song (you pervert), I’m talking about good old fashioned Working-out And Protein drinks! Summer is fast approaching and your future beau is coming to you on a Jersey shore beach in three months and six days. So get workin!

Pisces

Just checked in with the love gods and they are n o t happy with you. You have been seeing someone behind your partner’s back. Now this can be amended in one of two ways, either tell your partner, OR double down and start seeing m u l t i p l e people behind your partner’s back. Show the love gods you mean business!

Statement on [Insert Tragic Event]

Dear Members of the Drexel Community

On today [insert date], [insert summary of tragic event] occured. I am deeply saddened by [insert tragic event].
Our thoughts and prayers are with the [victims | survivors | those affected]. While we can offer our thoughts and prayers, these are simply not enough. We must additionally offer [insert token effort]