UPenn Achievements Report March 25 to April 1

The following are crimes that occurred on or near campus and were reported to The Rectangle by the Drexel University Department of Public Safety between March 25, 20134 and April 1, 2014. All information included in this report is taken from law enforcement or DPS incident reports.

Assault 1

March 24, 2:19 p.m. 3500 Block of Spring Garden Street

A Drexel student reported that March 24 at 2:19 p.m., two unknown males approached him and hugged him against his will.

Missing Person 1

March 32, 3:45 p.m. 200 Block of North 34th Street

A Drexel engineering student was reported missing March 32 at 3:45 p.m. by his roommate. His roommate claims the student hasn’t been seen for a week, and prior to his disappearance he had dreams of running away and joining the circus. This story
is still developing.

Murder 1

March 22, 2:69 p.m. 3300 Block of Market Street

Drexel Police arrested the Insomnia Cookie truck owner March 22 at 2:69 p.m. for killing the  woman who recently robbed the truck with brass knuckles. Police reported the woman, who hadn’t slept for days, was killed slowly with refined sugars.

Robbery 1

March 28, 2:30 a.m. 3500 Block of Filbert Street

A Drexel student reported that March 28 at 2:30 a.m., five unknown persons between the ages of 3 and 8, got out of a red and yellow Little Tykes car, tickled himP and stole his shoelaces. The group fled south on 34th Street in the car.

Theft 5

March 14 3300 Block of Race Street

A Drexel staff member reported that March 14, unknown person(s) broke into his office and stole the answer key to a final exam. It cannot be confirmed if the answer key was stolen by a student in the class, as all students failed. The exam will not be curved.

March 25 3300 Block of Race Street

A Drexel student reported that between March 25 and 30, unknown person(s) took his bicycle that was secured to a bicycle rack with 26 U-locks.

March 25, 12:21 a.m. 3700 Block of Hamilton Street

A complainant reported that March 25 at 12:21 a.m., unknown person(s) took her collection of garden gnomes from her front porch.

March 27, 11:15 a.m. 400 Block of North 36th Street

A Drexel student reported that March 27 at 11:15 a.m., another Drexel student, unknown to him, stole his nose and ran away with it. The student is suffering from dry mouth.

March 29, 2 p.m. 3200 Block of Chestnut Street

A non-Drexel affiliate reported that March 29, between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m., she misplaced her wallet and discovered that unknown person(s) purchased a lifetime supply of jelly beans using her credit card.

Vandalism 2

March 27, 7:32 a.m. 3700 Block of Hamilton Street

A complainant reported that March 27 at 7:32 a.m., unknown person(s)covered his car in multicolored Post-it notes containing hand written Snapple facts.

March 31 3100 Block of JFK Boulevard

A Drexel student reported that March 31 he returned to his apartment after spring break to find all of his belongings duck taped to his ceiling. There was no sign of forced entry.

Policy Violations 520

During the period March 25 and Apr. 1, there were one hundred (100) Policy Violations for alcohol and four hundred and twenty (420) Policy Violations for drugs. The reports were sent to the Office of Student Conduct for review.