April 01, 2016 by James Smith
With the 2016 elections looming over everybody, people want to know how they can force their views on others. Many are out of practice since the 2012 election. It’s sad to see how many people disagree, and it’s a competition to see who can convince the most people otherwise. Because of everyone’s lack of practice, I’ve put together a list of tips to ensure a fair and fun debate. By following all the advice listed, you’re guaranteed to convince others that no viewpoints are as superior as your own!
Tip 1: Gather everyone who thinks like you. Although you may be having a one-on-one conversation or debate, nothing speaks as loud as numbers. If you have 5 people that agree with you ganging up on one person who disagrees, that one person will be convinced in no time.
Tip 2: Make sure you don’t let them talk! If you let them speak, listening to themselves explain their point might cause them to reconsider what you’re telling them. To ensure they don’t get distracted once you’re surrounding them with your thoughts, make sure you go rapid fire so they absorb how correct you are.
Tip 3: Be loud. It’s scientifically proven that if you’re louder, there’s a 56785% chance that you’re also correct. Trump has built an entire campaign model from this fact, and look at how well he’s doing!
Tip 4: Never admit you’re wrong. Aside from being embarrassing, it also ruins your credibility. Instead, dodge their rebuttals and counterarguments by just reiterating how right you are and if necessary, raising your voice (see previous tip).
Tip 5: Be condescending. It’s the easiest way to show them how dumb they are. By pointing it out, you can make sure they won’t make the mistake of having a different opinion than yours in the future. Again, look to Trump for inspiration here.
Tip 6: Make sure your argument is all over the place. If they bring up abortion, distract them with points about the #blacklivesmatter movement. Not only does this make you sound intelligent because of your knowledge in many fields, but it’ll also confuse and distract them for long enough to get them to agree with you.
Tip 7: Make it personal. People love it when you bring up their pets or attack their family. By bringing to light every single thing wrong in their life, you can show them that there’s also a (high) possibility that they’re wrong about this.
Tip 8: Finally, post about your frustration on social media: but don’t actually go out and vote. Hashtags are pretty much the same thing right? Real action is silly. You already did your job convincing others! Now let them go out and vote for you! You had the hard job, now it’s time to relax. Besides, how much is once vote really gonna change anything?
Keeping these in mind, you can have a debate with anyone you want! Whether it’s friends, family, co-workers, or strangers, these tips will ensure that you’ll walk away from each debate feeling confident that you have improved one more life.