Staff

Your One and Only
Squeegee Beckenhiem

Main Complainer
Aim Peter

Waste of Space
Noar Noar

Editorial Extraordinaire

Tom Phord

The Fetchest Betch

Caux Caux Chanel

McDonald’s In-House Stylist

Alexander MacQween

Fashun’s Baddest Bitch

Donatella Versassy

Saucy

Penne Alla Vodka

Disgraced Former Editor

Jens Möøsëskäånd

Chief Executive Intern

LL Cool J R. R. Tolkein

Staff Jew

Jeremiah Bullfrog

Staff Mom

Shaw T. Monee

Staff Proctologist

Snooty Cahoots

Ghost Bear

Shanye Gostisbehere

Tinfoil Hat Wearer

Hobo Jim

Chief Astrologist

Furkan Aldemir

Tank Engine

Thomas The

Big Man

Gary Walsh

Hopper

Brodie Broadus

Secret Agent

Michael Scarn

Fairytale Contributor

Peter Pan

Criminal Informant

Fuzzy Dunlop

That guy in your Poli Sci Class

James Smith

Resident Bro-man-dude

Rodd Shaftman