LaVar Ball proclaims the greatness of his daughter

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LaVar Ball, the outspoken father of University of California at Los Angeles men’s basketball star Lonzo Ball, said March 29 that his daughter is better than any woman who’s ever played basketball at Drexel University.

Ball’s comments came as a shock, considering the fact that he does not have a daughter.

“She’s on her way, don’t you worry. And when she gets here, she’ll be ten times the player that Kraten is,” Ball said.

Ball was referring to Drexel point guard Maygun Kraten, who finished her decorated career as one of only three players in CAA history to record at least 1,000 points, 500 assists and 400 rebounds.

“Nothing against Kraten, she’s good. Real good. One of Drexel’s ten best ever. But my daughter is just gonna be bigger. She’s gonna be 6’4, with better handles and a better shot from three,” Ball said.

Kraten was no slouch from beyond the arc, shooting 44.1 percent from three this season, which was the tenth highest percentage from long distance in the nation. If Ball is right about his daughter, she could end up being one of the best players in women’s basketball history.

“My daughter is better than Elena Delle Donne. She could beat Delle Donn one-on-one right now, and she isn’t even born yet,” Ball said.

When asked what they are going to name their daughter, Ball said his family has not yet come to a decision.

“It’s probably gonna start with an L. We could go with LiAngela or a LaMela, but now that I think of it, we want something more original. It’d be better for our brand to diversify,” Ball said.

LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball are the younger brothers of Lonzo Ball, so LaVar wants a name that will allow his daughter to stand out on her own.

Despite not being born yet, Ball’s daughter has already received scholarship offers from almost every Division I college in the nation.

“We’ve got a long way to go until we decide where she’s going. UCLA is an option but Drexel is right there too. If she went to Drexel, she’d carry the team to four straight NCAA Tournament titles,” Ball said.

Unafraid of ruffling feathers, Ball continued to trash talk Drexel’s top players from this past season. After making comments about Kraten, Ball went after Sieruh Curtain, the team’s leading scorer for the past three seasons.

“How many points did she end up with? Barely 1,600? That’s nothing man. My daughter would get that her freshman year,” Ball said.

Since Curtain finished fifth all-time at Drexel in scoring, and just six points shy of third place on that list, it is almost impossible to imagine Ball’s daughter would actually be able to amass that many points in a single season. Given that Drexel would play no more than 40 games in a season, Ball’s daughter would have to average over 40 points per game to reach that milestone.

“She’s gonna get 50 a night man, mark my words. She’ll be so good, Michael Jordan couldn’t beat her in his prime,” Ball said.

Drexel head coach D’Nice Doolon is excited about the prospect of having Ball’s daughter on her roster, but admitted March 30 that LaVar’s passionate comments could potentially be a distraction for her team.

“I’ve spoken to LaVar. He’s a great father and a great guy, but his comments can sometimes conflict with our team’s interests. We obviously have time to hash things out, given that his daughter won’t be in college until at least 2035,” Doolon said.

While the college debut of LaVar Ball’s daughter may still be a long while away, Drexel fans are already anticipating her arrival on campus.

“I say we tank for the next 18 years just to get her. That’s what the Sixers are probably doing, we should do it too,” John Smith, a sophomore sports management major at Drexel said March 33.