Missed Connections

Girl on Game of Thrones subreddit in ENGR 121 (m4w)

You sit in front of me in my 4pm ENGR 121, perusing the subreddit for Game of Thrones. First of all, a girl on reddit? Be still my heart! Secondly, posting your own theories for the true mother of Jon Snow? Marry me please. Maybe we can watch it together sometime? Refresh our memories of the last season before the new one starts. You can be my Khaleesi, I’ll be your Daario. I’ll braid your long brown hair into those cool braids from the show, it’ll be great. Say hi to me after next Wednesday’s class so I know it’s real. I’m a bit shy FYI.

 

Girl with the nice butt in ENGR 121 (m4w)

Ayo girl with the brown hair you’ve been sitting next to me in ENGR 121 at 4 o’clock. Saw you get up to go to the bathroom once and damn girl you got a donk and a nice top front to boot. Why do you always ignore me when I ask to study with you sometime? I want to both spend more time with you and learn what the hell is going on in this class. I am in way over my head girl! On so many levels! I see you at the gym sometimes too girl, come through come through I’m there working on the gains almost everyday. If you read this just hit me with a quick “‘Sup?” sometime.

 

Girl I hand the sign-in sheet every goddamn class in ENGR 121 (m4w)

I sit right in front of you in ENGR 121 every class. I turn around to hand you the sign-in sheet. I always make some dumb joke in the hope of currying your favor. Last class it was this gem, “Can I get your autograph?” You never laugh. Why? Why, do you torment me so with your luscious brown hair and cute face and your dumb adorable chuckle. You laugh at our dumb professor’s puns but not my dopey sign-in sheet jokes? You’re killin’ me smalls. I always make sure to wear my finest band t-shirt, zip-up hoodie and jean combo on ENGR 121 days for you. Say something will you? Please?

 

Beautiful perfect princess lady in ENGR 121 (m4w)

我坐在对面的ENGR121类从你房间。在远角的所有道路。你没有注意到我。我刚刚从中国另一位中国留学生给你。你就是伟大的像一朵美丽的花。棕色的头发,发光的微笑。我让你快乐。很多财富,我给你。优质葡萄酒,真丝连衣裙,大庄园在中国。对你的爱烧亮像太阳。我送的仆人向你求婚。告诉你的父亲没有必要嫁妆。我带你“的房子”像你说的在美国这里。我们将长命百岁在一起。很协调。请雷棕发天使。我喜欢你很久了。

(Translated from the above)

I sit across room from you in ENGR 121 class. All the way in far corner. You no notice me. I just another Chinese student from China to you. You are magnificent like beautiful flower. Brown hair, glowing smile. I make you happy. Many riches I give you. Fine wine, silk dress, large estate in China. Love for you burn bright like sun. I send servant to you with marriage proposal. Tell your father no need for dowry. I take you “on the house” as you say here in America. We will live long lives together. Much harmony. Please be mine brown-haired angel. I love you long time. Your lips look lonely. DO they want to meet mine?

 

Literally any dude not in my ENGR 121 class (w4m)

I swear to god if another one of you dummies in my ENGR 121 class tries to hit on me, breathe over my shoulder to read my computer screen, makes a stupid joke or send a freakin’ emissary with a marriage proposal I will go insane. I know I am the only girl in the whole class but come on. You all smell. If you are a business major hit me up. I cannot stand these engineering nerds anymore. I get out of ENGR 121 at 6pm in the Lebow Engineering Building lecture hall. I’m the one with the brown hair speed-walking away from the classroom.