Amy Schumer surprises students with vulgar standup

Comedian Amy Schumer delivered a one-hour set to a jam-packed Main Auditorium March 31. Schumer has become a national sensation thanks to her HBO comedy specials and her movie “Trainwreck.” The entirety of the Drexel University student population was shocked to see the Drexel Campus Activity Board land an act more than five people have heard of before. Schumer’s act covered all kinds of topics and styles of comedy to great effect.

Coming out to a round of raucous applause, Schumer got right into the overly sexual material that people have come to know and love. “See, see, here’s the kinda motherfucker, hollering about ‘blow job’ and he’s wearing about a size 4. Little ol’ feet, so you know his dick’s small. I couldn’t give him no blowjob. My big-ass lips, his little ol’ dick: It wouldn’t work. It would be like trying to give a whale a Tic Tac, motherfucker.” This received a tremendous laugh, maybe even louder than the one this joke got when Adele Givens did it on “Def Comedy Jam” back in 1992.

Not being above self-deprecating humor about her appearance, Schumer induced some heartily giggling with the joke, “I will never give up. I’m in the 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.” What genius! And here I thought that Phyllis Diller was the only one who could pull a joke like that off.

Later Schumer dug deep to riff some material about her standing as a female comedian saying, “I get no respect: I play hide and seek; they wouldn’t even look for me.” It was like she was Rodney Dangerfield incarnate but with much better delivery and chutzpah of course!

In between jokes Schumer would sprinkle in little catchphrases of hers like “Wawaweewa!” and “Very nice!” At points Schumer would hop off stage and go up to a unsuspecting audience member crying “High five!” with her hand outstretched. Then as the student went in for the high five she would pull away, cackling and say “Not!” My lord, I have not laughed that hard since I heard those lines in the movie “Borat” back in high school.

Schumer then quickly circled back to her bread and butter, sex. “Men want you to scream ‘You’re the best’ while swearing you’ve never done this with anyone before.” I hadn’t seen sexual hypocrisy tackled like that since I read Elayne Boosler’s joke on the Vulture.com “The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy.” What a great and thorough list that is. I could tell that Schumer had drawn inspiration from it, you go girl!

Surely feeling the electricity coursing through Main Auditorium, Schumer yelled at the crowd, “You wanna hear seven words you can never say on television? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.” The sold-out crowd went insane. I knew the Drexel student body would love some Carlin.

Towards the end of her set you could feel that Schumer was building towards an epic climax. She ratcheted up the excitement another level with, “Who’s more racist, black people or white people? It’s black people! You know why? Because we hate black people, too!” By the size of the ovation you would have thought Drexel had lowered tuition by 69%. I thought Chris Rock originally brought the pain but Schumer was the one who would not relent, not for an instant.

When the laugher and applause had died down after a full five minutes, Schumer said, in a hushed voice, almost a whisper, “Hello, I have cancer.” People ate it up. I thought that Tig Notaro was the only person that could do material like that but Schumer puts her to shame she does!

Schumer announced that she would do one last joke for the crowd and then launched into her big closer about the different types of sex moves. First there was the Abraham Lincoln, “The guy trims his pubes, cums on a girl’s face and throws the pubes so she has that facial hair.” Then the Houdini in which, “The guy’s having sex with the girl from behind. Then, unbeknownst to her, his friend subs in for him. Guy one runs outside, knocks on the window and waves to the girl.” Wow! Edgy and funny at the same time! Schumer is a true visionary. The first such to emerge on the comedy scene with material like this since the late great Patrice O’Neal.

I don’t know if Drexel University will ever have a better comedy show than the one Amy Schumer put on in the Main Auditorium March 31. Her ability to dance from joke to joke from style to style with such grace and poise was incredible. If you missed this show, I don’t know how to console you. It was such a unique and unrepeatable act from one of the greatest comedians of our time.