NCAA: field hockey refs constantly make up rules

In a new report released March 21 by the NCAA, it has been announced that the sport of field hockey actually does not have an official rulebook and the referees are just encouraged to make shit up as they go along. The most important part of the statement read, “There are only three rules in […]

Eagles safety was actually covering his own shadow

Eagles fans and coaching staff alike have long wondered why safety Nate Allen always seems confused and lost in coverage during games. He seems unable to actually see the receivers coming at him until they had already passed him and were on their way to a big gain. For years, he’s frustrated the team and […]

Massenat returning to Drexel, mostly for the food

Coming off a 90-81 loss to Northeastern University in the Colonial Athletic Association Tournament, Drexel men’s basketball fans were disheartened not only by their team’s loss but also by the loss of its seniors. Over the years, Dragons fans have grown to love this year’s senior class, particularly Frantz Massenat and Fist Couch. Couch, who […]

Sixers try out roster of CPU players

After losing a franchise record 22 straight games, the Philadelphia 76ers have taken their rebuilding efforts to new heights. The team announced the addition of three new computer-generated players to its roster March 21. “We decided that if we were going to treat this team like a Franchise Mode, we might as well go all […]

Drexel Athletics ditches ‘I am a Dragon’ slogan

Instead of revolting against Drexel’s mediocrity in athletics, University officials have decided to embrace it with their new slogan: “You win some, you lose some.” After one season of rolling with “I am a Dragon,” Athletic Director Dr. Zeric Willmer decided to scrap it and ask Drexel students to submit their own ideas. Pre-junior psychology […]

Phillies begin partnership with retirement home

Philadelphia Phillies fans are very familiar with the team’s partnership with Citizens Bank, as the ballpark boasts the name of the long-time sponsor. But not many are aware that the Phillies have recently reached an agreement with a local retirement home, Red River Springs, in Haverford, Pa. With the deal, the Phillies have agreed to […]

Dragons, Sixers will play in series with high stakes

The Drexel men’s basketball team finished its official schedule March 8 in the Colonial Athletic Association Tournament. But the Dragons announced March 21 that they have one more opponent to play before the true offseason: the Philadelphia 76ers. The two teams will compete in a two-day home-and-home series dubbed “Philadelphia Series of Greatness.” The games […]

Mat men excited to land prized recruit, Matt Mann

The Drexel wrestling team’s season may be over, but they are still hard at work. The mat men have landed their best recruit in head coach Matt Avocado’s young career and possibly program history, signing Matt Mann to a National Letter of Intent. Mann, the son of Leslie and Bat Mann, is a three-time state […]

Univ. lowers tuition for 2015-2016

In a move designed to decrease students’ post-graduation debt burdens and to increase Drexel’s affordability, the University has decided to lower tuition significantly for the 2015-16 academic year. This action, unprecedented in the modern academic world, comes as a result of the University becoming more acutely aware of the problems faced by recent graduates and […]

Bad Idea fund will waste org. money

Drexel’s Office of Campus Activities announced March 31 that the Good Idea Fund, a sponsor of on-campus events and programming proposed by individual members of the Drexel community since 2010, will be renamed the Bad Idea Fund and repurposed to waste unused funds awarded to student organizations by the Student Activity Fee Allocation Committee. “The […]